March 31, 2014

20 difficult things that most people have to learn in their twenties

This article is about some of the things that my 20s have taught me. In your twenties you learn that you never really become an adult, just that people start expecting you to act like one. So you start pretending to be grown up, even though you still feel like a scared little child. Here I picked the most important 20 things that you should learn in your twenties:

1. Love hurts, but not as much as not loving.

You love a person to learn how to love. By and by love spreads far and wide. That person remains significant because that person becomes the door, and from that door you start moving back and forth. This is going to happen — and there’s nothing to worry about.

2. Make lots of friends

The friendships you nurture will have a greater effect on your life than where you work or what you earn.

3. Most of the times, money are not that important

You are not your job. You are not your bankroll. You are not the sum of your possessions. The company you work at does not love you for the simple reason that it’s not a living person. You are replaceable and therefore you should keep your parachute handy.

4. Choose the right person to marry

Few decisions will ever shape your future life more than who you choose to marry. To marry well, you must choose well.

5. Love is a commitment.

Stop thinking that love is that giddy feeling of attraction.  Start thinking that love is about respect, commitment, loyalty, and the deliberate choice to move past negative emotions that might pull things apart.  Love is not about fair weather relationships.  It’s about weathering storms together.

6. Choose the right passions for yourself

Believe it or not, passions grow out of your values. Make early, wise choices to value what (and who) is good, trustworthy, and praiseworthy.

7. Don’t waste your time with people that don’t care about you

Integrity preserved is honor won.

8. Your health and well-being is quintessential

Rejoice in your health. It fades fast.

9. Find yourself a passion if you don’t have one already

Pick a hobby and own it: photography, juggling—whatever. Get your 10 thousand hours of perfect practice in early and change your life.

10. Avoid to compare yourself to others

This only leads to heartbreak, anger, and disappointment and most disappointments grow from unmet expectations. Set realistic expectations for yourself, based on your strengths (our your weaknesses), then strive to exceed them.

11. Try not to complain too much

Either change your situation, learn to cope, or change your perspective.

12. Being rich is overrated

Don’t worry about making big bucks out of the gate, worry first about doing whatever you have to do excellently.

13. Failure is an opportunity

No great man or woman ever achieved significance without great failures to learn from.

14. Treat others as you want to be treated

Never withhold an apology when it’s merited. Deliver it quickly, sincerely, and personally—before resentment festers.

15. Stop beating yourself up

You don’t need to nurture old guilt when you’re forgiven. But remembering the shame can help you avoid repeats.

16. Slow down a little

The main thing you need to do quickly is to stop doing things quickly. Trade hurry for calm, confidence, and precision.

17. Go with your strengths

If you want to develop your passion and gift, stop worrying about the things you do poorly.

18. Stay out of trouble

Avoid fights. Seriously. Avoid them like a plague: nobody wins in a fight, even if you walk away unscathed. But when a fight picks you, leave everything on the mat and give it your all. Hold nothing back.

19. Have an open mind and never stop learning

The skills that will help your career most are the abilities to assimilate, communicate, and persuade. Keep learning.

20. Think well.

It truly matters what you think about. Think well by reading good books, building good and loving relationships, having good conversations, and imitating the mindests of the greatest people.

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